It's 1:15 am and this is my free time. I haven't posted in such a long time due to the fact that I have recently given birth yet again. This pregnancy was much harder than the first one and I am just now starting to aquire some sort of normalcy. Ah...where to begin?
I spent a great deal of this pregnancy feeling very depressed and stressed out. Should I talk about that or about how it all lead up to me going into labor two weeks early and giving birth naturally in an operating room, not at all how I had planned.
Or should I focus on the now, and how strange it is to quit working to be a stay at home mom to a newborn and almost three year old. To worry about being a one income family, about being a good mom, a good wife, a good daughter, sister, friend, about losing myself completely...
Will I ever find peace again? or the time to paint?
These are the questions I torture myself with. I'm convinced if I try to start documenting them it may all become clear, or at least a bit less foggy.
1 comment:
You certainly do have a lot on your plate but at least it is mostly wonderful. Your sweet disposition and artful nature will have a great influence on your babies. Just paint when you can! They will get older and life will call down. You will definitely get more sleep. See, you haven't lost yourself you have gained two whole parts.
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